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25-Jun-2017 11:16

Choosing a restaurant to eat at is an easy, fun task.Say there’s a new Chinese-Cuban-Indonesian fusion place that opened up on your block.Rating: Two stars Food Equivalent: Plain oatmeal that is very thick with no sugar.What It Is: EHarmony sticks to your ribs in a way that’s slightly unsettling.Like any sensible human trying out a service, you’d definitely want to read reviews before you go there, right?Look no further — we’ve done the dirty work of reviewing and ranking some choice online dating sites in a way you’ll understand — by comparing them to food.Then again, HER’s minimalist profile reflects the modern trend in online dating towards less chatty profiles that encourage users to interact rather than creep.

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EHarmony is oatmeal, because it is stable, it will net you someone nice, inoffensive, bland.Your profile on HER can be as simple or as in-depth as you want it to be: just add a textbox like you would a picture and write away.While this freedom is endearing, a few simple prompts a la Ok Cupid might be helpful.Who You’ll Meet: A perfectly nice and relatively sane-upon-first-encounter dude who is generally two to three inches shorter than he looks in the pictures you passed around to all of your friends before you agreed to go on the date.

Someone who could turn out to be wonderful or truly, really horrible. Tinder Food Equivalent: A floppy slice of pizza you buy while drunk to stave off vomiting and the extra sharp edge of a hangover.Who You’ll Meet: Someone who wants to stick around. What It Is: is that meal that you make because, while not groundbreaking or interesting, it is guaranteed to satiate your hunger.