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It didn't matter to me if she was Black or White."That's why he was surprised at the negative reaction he received from some loved ones, mainly those in North Carolina.
A long conversation with his mother helped him understand why some Black women in the family were hurt by his decision."When I was able to step back and put myself in their shoes, I could understand their perspective, even though I didn't agree," Hargrove says. Some of Hargrove's in-laws made it known that he wasn't welcome.
It's complicated Toya Lachon, 43, of Washington, D.
C., says she feels frustrated, hurt and even betrayed when she sees Black men with women of other races, but happy when she sees Black women in an interracial relationship."I'm like, Yes, girl, do that," says Lachon. Women are taking control of their happiness."Dating interracially can still come with backlash for both Black men and women.
Harvey Hargrove, Jr., 41, a sales representative in Sacramento, California, knows the pushback that can come from relatives when we marry across race lines.
When the former professional athlete announced his engagement to his college sweetheart, Trayce, a White woman, some of the ladies in his family did not hesitate to express their disappointment."It was hard for them," says Hargrove. When they found out I was getting married to a White woman, it was, "They're taking all our good men. ""Hargrove comes from a military family and says he grew up in diverse environments, including living in Germany for four years and moving to California when he was 15."Interracial relationships are all over the West Coast, so I could see a successful Black woman not be able to find that good Black man, in a sense.
The Memphis attorney had always talked about finding the Cliff to her Clair and having brown babies for a real-life Cosby Show family.
So when she met a White accountant from Mississippi online in 2013, got engaged to him in 2014 and married him in 2015, her friends were shocked."When he proposed, they were like, "We didn't know it was that serious. " I had people question if this was what I wanted," says Meador, who serves as general counsel and vice-president at a nonprofit.
Things may be improving: The Meadors celebrated their first anniversary in August, and Michael's mother has invited them to spend Christmas in Mississippi with the family.
During their college days at the University of Pittsburgh, some Black male friends of Merrian Brooks, 33, would say they didn't know any Black women who were as attractive as White women."Some of the men I really respected would exclusively date White women," she says.